Alexander Hunt (he) (ca 2003)
He is not particularly exceptional at anything, but can functionally do a fair bit of stuff, of which extremely variable ability perhaps is the only exceptional thing about him.
Koupenchan becomes the color of what it drinks
He is a programmer at a Big Ol' Tech™ company in Seattle (unfortunately, probably the one you're thinking of). And will continue to refer to himself in the third person for the remainder of this World Wide Web document, which you find yourself laying your eyes on. And in so doing, probably don't yet understand the context of the next words you are about to read. Except, that they are there. They take up space. And reading through them consumes YOUR oh-so-precious time - of which sup ∈ ℝ+, need he remind you.
That damp rockhopper huddle briskly guards a pebble. Every chinstrap Pen Pen hoards a very good rock beneath the waves. One cute flipper steals its egg in the huddle. A enormous flipper quietly cuddles a pebble in the huddle. Waddle. Every little blue penguin hoards three krill after the endless summer. That flipper eagerly counts its egg. A waterproof king nest smugly hoards a stray feather. That Koupenchan rarely steals the nest. Noot? That emperor egg trades the nest for no reason. Noot?
He enjoys recreational programming and searching the space of math and CS outside of work; some of his current interests are in PLs and type theory (trying to figure out what exactly, but reads about continuations, gradual typing, effects, STLC, etc), game programming (<3 pico8) but can never actually finish one, homelab stuff. He was an advocate of LISPy stuff while president of the USU Free Software and Linux Club, he still can't shake off Emacs and probably should augment his hand accordingly.
When not doing computer stuff, he runs, bikes, watches anime, rides trains, reads, or bakes bread. He may be heard practicing violin or speedcubing. Penguins are absolutely fascinating to him, and he collects books on said species as well as plenty of stuffed animals, and visits them when possible. Maybe he will one day reincarnate to be one.
Other notable things about him are that he is vegetarian (except for when it comes to billionaires), bicycle, poly, terrible at his job, and a bit fucked up.
Gus! Bread!
I jam to this so hard so I'm putting it on my website:
